Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Please, let me fuck your mom
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
