TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
