Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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