i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Watching her eat just hurts me
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
