btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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