she looked like the bat from fern gully.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
