what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
