I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
