i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
