The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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