So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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