Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
