Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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