its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I forget how to act sober
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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