Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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