I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
