We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
