I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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