you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
