margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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