i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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