Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
cat food counts as protein by the way
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
