haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
