If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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