I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
