Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize