god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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