fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
tell me about the fingering
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