i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
