I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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