i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
