I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
