I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
