HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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