I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
