Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize