If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Randomize
