I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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