Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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