I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
