next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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