Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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