To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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