If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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