Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
