At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My nipple is on Facebook.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
