mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i barfeds in our rink
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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