No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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