So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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