oh god the rape fog is back!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
