Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
