She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
