dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
pray to the hookup gods
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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