At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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