What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Randomize
