Plan B is the new Plan A
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize