at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I need moral support for this bender
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
