I'm really into asian looking animals
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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