im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
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