I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
